This blog is so behind....

This blog has really fallen behind.
February 2012, We moved back to the states...to Arkansas.
September 2012, I got a job at the Child Development Center on the Air Force Base. I am now placed in a two year old room that I love. I work well with my room team. And I love all those itty bitty babies I get to love on.
April 2013, my little sister had a beautiful baby girl named Anawynn.
June 2013, my little sister got married to Dustin Haug.
December 2013, John and I adopted a retired military working dog--a German Shepherd named Rocky. We enjoy having him as part of our family. He has yet to bark once, and has retinal degeneration in his eyes--night vison is going, but he does great, and now is out of his kennel all day long. Love that pup-pup.
February 2014, my older sister had her second baby, Thomas.

Present day...
So in love with my husband, adore my pup-pup, love my job...
Really hope that the next year is amazing...August of this year, John and I will be married for 10 years...how crazy is that? I can't imagine not being with John...I love him so very much...

I am excited!

here's that news that I couldn't tell you before...

I am going to be an aunt! My sister Angel is 14 weeks along (Due December 30th)

I will be moving back to the states from Germany in February. I will be in Cincinnati for most of the visit, but I will be going up to Northern Indiana to visit my grandparents and see my best friend, Arielle (known her for over 25 years)

I feel sad that I am going to miss seeing my niece or nephew...

I can't tell you yet...

I do not have permission to say the thing that I want to say.  I know that most people will want me to say it, but I just can't.  I know that you were wondering what it is about.  I can't tell you...

I can tell you...tomorrow...

Officially as of tomorrow, I can tell you what I learned two weeks ago Friday.  I'm so glad I will be able to tell everyone that thing that is making me happy.

happy end to a crappy week

k...this week was horrible...trying to find a way to live without Aby...
but I just learned something on Friday night that rocks my face off!
however, I cannot share it with you yet...when I get the go ahead, I will be sharing it!

hard days...

these are hard days.
This house is so empty without Aby.
I can't even imagine how hard it is going to be for John when he gets home.
I am going into work for planning today, but we shall see how that goes and see how I feel after I am there for a bit...
I really don't want to not work for another day. That's precious time that I am missing.
If I don't talk about what happened to Aby, I am fine. Once someone asks me "Are you okay?" I break down again.

My Dear Sweet Aby

Yesterday went off like normal. Just being lazy, me and Aby. She was eating, drinking, sleeping...being a dog.

I took her for her nighttime walk. Everything was normal. She even tried to chase a couple birds.

Then, we walked over and went into the door of our apartment building. We got up the first set of stairs, but when we got to the top of the second set, Aby fell over. Just like that. She started whining and crying, then she stopped breathing. I started screaming so loud and crying for someone to help me. Several of my neighbors ran out to see what was going on. One set of neighbors called the military police to find out what to do. Other neighbors sat by me and Aby on the stairwell. By the time the police showed up, she was gone.

We called a 24-hour vet. They directed us to a veterenarian in Ramstein villiage. He had to go to his workplace in the middle of the night (11pm), and we had to pay 75 Euro, but he took my Aby. I kissed her dear sweet head before he took her away.

This all just feels like the most horrific nightmare that I need to wake up from. When I woke up this morning without her, my heart started to ache. It was a dreamless, not restful sleep. I got maybe 3 hours.

Work today is an impossibility. I just start crying whenever I remember that Aby isn't here anymore.

I thank you all for your prayers and your thoughts.